muSiC plAyinG: mY loVE fOr yoU is UnqiUE
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StoRy
10th grade
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend".
I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine.
But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her.
She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her.
She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did.
As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.
After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep.
She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Senior year The day before prom she walked to my locker.
"My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends".
So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step!
I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it.
Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her,
I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Graduation Day A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day.
I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her.
Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
A Few Years Later Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now.
I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man.
I wanted her to be mine, but she didn`t see me like that, and I knew it.
But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!".
She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Funeral Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend".
At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read:
I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it.
I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends,
I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
I wish he would tell me he loved me! I wish I did too...
I thought to my self, and I cried.
I Love You
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otHerZ stUFz
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Didn't want to blog actually cuz there was nth to blog abt but well..yea..just blogging..
I was like a bit emo today...and very tired even though i slept 7 hours! I ran out of kopiko..no more sweets to wake me up already! I want Mentos!!
Heard that Cougar won IHDC..congrats to them! Maybe if some of my classmates had taken part, PUMA would have had a chance too? lol
Suzy's back in S'pore! She just msged me! I'm glad! Haha..she still say she din enjoy her trip that much..missing like 2 weeks of sch is so shiok lah..lol..
I'm sad that Mrs Siva has to leave..i think i did mention it b4..but i feel it more during her lessons esp..gonna miss her style of teaching, her humor, her sarcasm. her funny expressions and stuff.. =(
Maybe i shld tell myself more firmly to not be too attached to anything or anyone for everything leaves us at one time or another...
Next week is gonna be a killer week! Have Bio SPA, Bio topical test, GP time practice and chem common test! Heard that the physics students have a test too! Which means we have almost like 5 tests in a 5 day period! Hmmz..i do not mean to be negative or anything but i do know that im gonna fail all the tests even b4 i take them..Chem is sure die! I still dunno how to write AQ for gp..super blur abt Bio SPA stuff..dun think will have time to study for bio topical test too! Haha..but im not giving up..i'll still study even though i know its no use! lol =)
It's 1.15 am now..i shld go sleep cuz i have tuition tmr morning! Tata! Take Carez everyone! =)
WisH
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1:16 AM
Kavi
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Had a nice day today! =)
I paid attention during bio lecture but i still didn't understand alot of things! lol..after that went outside LT1 to do work with liyi..then had bio remedial with Mrs Lim tgt with renes and wee theng and i think it was quite effective! Didn't really expect it to be though..lol..Maths lect was horrible..i didn't understand a single thing that the lecturer was teaching..was just copying blindly..and was chatting with liyi half the time..i think we were very noisy! Haha..but anyway, its fun crapping ard with her during lectures..
GP lecture! Haha! Was an interesting one..liyi, aurelia and I got called out by the lecturer for talking loudly during the video screening! lol..and aurelia super attitude to the teacher lah! I couldn't stop laughing after i left the LT! lol..I crashed Chinese lecture today! Dhanesh crashed too cuz we had no tamil..haha..was like attracting so much attention..so paiseh..heez..I taught liyi how to say numbers 1 to 10 in tamil during the lecture! lol PE was not bad cuz we din run much..did my favourite conditioning stuff..the teachers made us tuck in our tshirts until super toot! lol..but we were all still enthu! =) Oh! I miss suzy loads! Kept thinking that i heard her voice ard..disulphide aunties miss our missing aunty!! =)
Was supposed to have Mesahi dinner straight away after pe but the members had cca commitments so we decided to split up and meet later at Breeks! I followed andy to his house and waited for him to shower and change..lol..then we proceeded to breeks..by that time everyone was there and we started having a sumptious meal! Brother Andy treated all of us buffalo wings and dessert! Thx for the Brownie with ice cream bro! =) Really had a great time at breeks! We still had so much stuff to talk abt..after a long time saw pei shan's funny, drama side and kelvin's warm, cute side again! Haha..we r gonna have a post pw results gathering and ze ling said she'll pay for the food! Yay! Can't wait! lol..Go Mesahi!! =)
Its 9.30pm..just came back from Mesahi gathering and im sooo exhausted! Haiz..dun think i'll end up doing any work...and my sis borrowed two VCDs frm her friend and i borrowed a DVD frm andy..i wanna watch the movies during the weekend!! Feb is ending soon! So fast! Hmmz..Fun Filled Friday tmr with an extra bio tutorial lesson! Yay! lol
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10:30 PM
Kavi
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Istana Park is really HUGE!! I thought Singapore had a scarcity of land! Haha..the large piece of land there could really be put into better use! Hmmz..caught a glimpse of the president but din get the chance to shake his hand..and there were no casualties..i slept in the ambulance half the day..lol..The only highlight was the few good-looking NS men that i saw near the ambulance parking lot..oh..the ambulance was parked near the mobile toilets and i will never forget the state the toilets were in! It was utterly horrible! Haha..i laughed everytime someone opened the toilet door and recoiled in disgust..sadistic me! lol
The only good thing i did during the CNY break was to clean up my room and to file up all the loose papers in my book shelf! lol..the roses I received for V day have finally wilted completely..couldn't bear to throw them away..haha..
Hmmz..should i let myself be involved in doing first aid for NDP 2007? 5 full saturdays and i think it'll be fun! But would i be wasting precious study time? Haha..i shall think abt it!
I'm in a 'oh wadever' mood...hmmz..i'll keep busy and not think too much..just have a bad feeling abt this week though...Let me be happy pls!!!
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9:33 PM
Kavi
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Harlowz!! =)
I really spent my weekend slacking! Aiyo! I was planning to finish up so much work but ended up doing nth! Haha..and i keep feeling so sleepy! Just took cough syrup and its making me feel sleepy again! Heez..is there sth wrong with not feeling stressed at all? Cuz i really dun feel any academic stress now! And im like so relaxed lah..not worrying abt A'levels like some of my other frenz do...msged some of my frenz in nj on V day and they were all like, " J2 life is so tough..i can't wait for it to end"..while i was thinking, J2 life not that bad leh when im really not doing well in my tests! Haha..im wierd! I know i've gotta work hard but its so tempting to just forget abt work sometimes..lol..i think i shld be happy that im not stressed! =)
Having Project Mesahi outing at our usual Breeks this thursday after PE! Yay! Can't wait! haha..long since Mesahi was last tgt and i miss Andy! =)
I'm having full day first aid duty this tuesday at Istana! Which means i can get to see the president! Yay! Haha..i want to shake hands with him! =)
I think im blogging too much! Its becoming an addiction! lol..kk i better go try to do some work! tata! =)
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11:50 PM
Kavi
The time now is 8 am and i stay awoke the whole night, keeping age for my parents! Yay! Im proud of myself! One cup of coffee, one blog entry, 30 sit ups, 30 crunches, blog hopping and the writing of 4 testimonials was what it took me to keep awake! Haha..thx to poah sin for keeping me company all this while! He's turned extremely nice these few days! lol =)
Would like to wish renes sweetheart a happy birthday! Hope that all her dreams and wishes will come true! Stay happy sweetheart!! =)
Im gonna miss suzy! She flew off to taiwan during the CNY break and wun be back till next week! Come back soon and do enjoy urself suzy!! =)
My secret to being happy: Dun think too much! =)
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8:00 AM
Kavi
Hello!! Did this quiz thingy that i saw in sharon's blog..just felt like posting it as an entry so here it is! =)
1. What colour is ur hair?
*Black
2. Do u ever lie about ur age?
*I did. Once online. Once when i was going to rent a NC16 VCD and once when i was going to watch a NC16 movie. lol..maybe i'll have to lie abt my age in the future too..haha..
3. Do u prefer 'sensitive boys' or 'tough guys'?
*Hmmz..i think i prefer 'sensitive boys'.
4. Do u prefer blond or dark-haired guys?
*Dark-haired guys!! =)
5. How many things in your past do u regret?
*LOL..i don't keep track.
6. Do u have a best friend?
*Hmmz..not really..super good ones, i have! =)
7. What do u want to be when you grow up?
*I want to be so many things! A teacher, gyneacologist, pharmacist, social worker, psychologist, journalist and the list goes on! That's how aimless and fickle i am! lol
8. Have you ever kissed two pple in one night?
*Haha! No! Kisses are precious!
9. Where do u shop to buy most of ur clothes?
*Hmmz..anywhere that sells nice yet affordable clothes..like This Fashion! =)
10. Who was the last person you hugged?
*Haha..Lily Zhen who loves my hugs! =)
11. Have you ever had ur heart broken?
*Lots of times but it always gets mended back! haha
12. Have you ever wanted someone but u knew u couldn't have them?
*Haha..yea..that happens alot...but i always move on!
13. If you could change anything about ur past, what would u change?
*Hmmz..difficult qn..actually i dunno..i can't even rmb anything wrong with my past..lol..
14. Do u like your life?
*Yep! It rawks totally! Life treats me well most of the time although it abuses me at times..haha..
15. Do u shop at hollister?
*Eh..???
16. Has one of ur frenz ever stolen a boyfriend from u?
*Haha..nope..but they have unknowingly stolen my crushes!
17. Has one of ur frenz ever stabbed u in the back?
*Hmmz..i dun think so cuz i can't rmb anything like that. lol..i have a bad memory!
18. Did u forgive them?
*I would if they want to be forgiven. I try not to hold grudges! =)
19. Who is ur best friend in ur pri sch life?
*Seela Karen. Hahaz..she was the perfect friend i had till primary 3 when she moved house and transferred from my pri sch. =( Now she is in VJ and she lives at sengkang too! I do see her ard but i guess it's not the same as it was back then..haha..
20. Do u have more frenz that are girls or guys?
*Girls! haha..
21. How long have u had friendster?
*Abt 2 years i think...
22. Have u ever skipped sch?
*Of course! When im feeling lazy and tired..lol.
23. Have u ever slapped a boy in the face?
*Haha!! Yes! Poor Ah Choo received one when he irritated me like 2 years back and my brother got slapped by me in the past too! lol
24. What is one of ur biggest fears?
*Death of a beloved.
25. Have u ever skipped class?
*Yupz..when i feel that the lesson is redundant.
26. Has anyone close to u ever passed away?
*Nope
27. Have u ever cried urself to sleep?
*Yes. I think when i was younger. Now, i try not to waste my tears on insignificant stuff so i rarely cry.
28. Have u ever not been able to get someone out of ur head?
*Yes! I try so hard but it's so difficult!
29. Do u believe in the saying, "Once a cheater, always a cheater"?
*Haha..no lah..i dun think its that serious..
30. Are u a player?
*Haha..NO!
31. What is ur screen name?
*Cinderalla89 i guess...
32. Do u ever wish u were famous?
*Sometimes...
33. Do u ever wish u were a man?
*Haha..yes..when i think about how much more a woman suffers than a man..
34. What is the sweetest thing that can ever happen to you?
*haha..i dunno..anything that shows me that i am loved will seem sweet! =)
35. One word best describing you?
*Hmmz..unique? Or maybe Happy-go-lucky? Or maybe Sweet? lol..i dunno!
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3:58 AM
Kavi
Saturday, February 17, 2007
I'm dedicating this entry to a very impt person who is now too busy to even care abt my existence! I know him for almost 5 years already! Watched him grow up actually..from a short kid to a tall guy..lol..
We were grouped in the same grp for red cross annual training camp once and i think we din really get along well then..but over the years, he somehow became one of my very good frenz and I his "trusted" friend..lol..
He's the first guy i gave a V day gift to, the first guy i spent soooo much on a birthday gift for..the guy i talked to the most on the phone(the longest is 2 hours 30 mins to be exact)..my gossip partner..the person whom i had alot of fun with..sometimes i think i know him inside out..cuz i can actually guess his thoughts and feelings...He never fails to cheer me up and i'm never bored when he's around... =)
As i think back on my sec sch life,i realise that he was part of all the happiest times i had had..we did have our own share of fights, squabbles and cold wars..i've even hated him for a period of time..but despite his flaws, which i've grown to accept,he still means alot to me! =)
Now, i would like to wish a SUPER DUPER HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY TO AH CHOO aka DEREK CHOO HENG HAN!!! =) =) =)
Ah Choo!! Hope that all ur dreams and wishes come true!! Have a happy life kies! Just want to tell u that i might not be near u always..we've graduated and are leading our own lives..busy as i am,i just hope that u know that i still care for u! Any problems or sorrows can always give me a call or msg kies!! Take Carez always Kuchi Puchi!! =)
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2:41 PM
Kavi
The power of a smile
Few truly understand the power of a smile. A smile from the bottom of the heart, no matter how brief or how many times you see it, will always brighten someone's day. On the other hand, an insincere smile, no matter how often or long, will instead have the reverse effect, for it can be seen that the "smiler" is insincere. Therefore, smile whenever you can, with all your heart, for you never know whose mood you may be affecting...
Extracted this frm Andy's friendster profile..found it quite meaningful so thought that i might share it with my readers! =) I agree with it wholeheartedly!! =)
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2:07 PM
Kavi
Friday, February 16, 2007
Hello! =)
Today was CNY celebration at AJ! I dunno why we still had to have lessons in the morning! Heard that other JCs dismissed sch at like 10 am lah..hmm..civics was replaced by maths in the morning..got back test paper and i failed as usual but i think i improved so i guess im not too sad abt it or anything..suzy number zero dun be demoralised k! Try harder and study smarter! We can do it! =) Kept coughing during maths..i've been coughing the whole day actually..haiz..dun tell me im falling sick again right after i 'd recovered from the bout of flu? Dun want!
After maths, Kelly and i went to the canteen to buy curry puffs from the cute curry puff guy! Hahaha..i think he looks like Hady leh! We queued up for almost 30 mins to see him!! Haha..kelly Qed for my sake too! Heez..thx kkk!! Haha..i was trying to talk to curry puff guy by asking him stupid qns but i think he was very tired today cuz he din really give me the same bright dimpled smile that he gave me yst..lol...anyway, i think the novelty will wear off soon and i wun be so excited to see him again..but really, how often can u see good looking canteen vendors? Haha..anyway, some guys in my class are so not sensitive! Girls too! They call out my name when my eyecandy walks past me and they keep signalling, making noise and stuff..I think he knows already lah! So embarrassing! Haha! Oh..cheng en agrees that he's good looking! Yay! At least i have one person who thinks the same way i do..liyi says that cheng en has bad taste! Hmph! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder i guess...
Today's hosting of the senior citizens from project sphere went ok..not very smooth but we managed the hiccups somehow..the old folks came like 30 mins earlier catching us unprepared! And we left the concert even before it ended due to some miscommunication..the buffet lunch was good though! lol..and the residents were very friendly! Was a different experience alright..i enjoyed myself with the interactors but i still missed my class during the concert! Haha..being enthu with them beats everything else! Heez..yupz..happy that everything ended on a good note! =) Happy CNY to all my chinese frenz!! =)
I don't want you to determine my happiness..but unfortunately, you do!
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11:45 PM
Kavi
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Happy V day!! Happy Friendship day!! =)
Today was not bad lah..but i think last year was better. Anyway, i wasn't actually planning to buy chocs for anyone cuz i really had no money but i just felt bad not having anything to give so went cp to buy chocs yst. Then only had enough money to buy 16 bars of chocs so i had no choice but to give them selectively...gave all the 11 girls in my class and then 5 guys..so the guys who received should be honoured cuz u were chosen as u were special in some way! =) Haha..received many chocs and notes frm my class girls before morning assembly..thx so much to all of them! =) Sasha gave me a pretty rose! Thx dear! Thx to steven for the sweet little rose too! =) Thx to Poah Sin for dedicating a song to the whole class! =) it was a sweet song..i enjoyed it although i din understand the lyrics..lol...thx to 20/07 for their dedication too! =)
Lastly, thanks to an important person who made my day! PRAVIN!! He sent me flowers all the way from NYJC..was so surprised and touched!! Haha..thx loads pravin! I appreciate the gesture loads! =)
I had a date with melvin, gaya3 and sakinah after sch! Singles outing! lollol..went to eat at BK..and then gave ah choo his birthday gift..i guess he wouldn't open the gift nw..he'll wait till his birthday that day then open all the gifts..lol..anyway, derek choo, I din write my name on the wrapping paper so just telling u that its the blue one with the many many pigs on it! Hope u like the gift! =)
Kelly and I are not slackers anymore! We are participating in an event for track and field meet! At least we gave our names lah..haha..thx for accompanying me kelly!! =)
Happy One Month anniversary to WQ and Eileen!! =)
Happy fourth month anniversary to Pig Sis and bro in law!! =)
Sunshine I love you!! Dun be sad! Cheer up! Dun waste ur tears on insignificant stuff! Its not worth it! Haha..Stay happy! =)
I'm happy that my number zero is happy! Thx kokonut! =)
Ooo..i've got a new eyecandy! Currypuff guy with the cute dimples! Hahaha..life's gonna get exciting! lol
You broke my heart yet u mended it back again...
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11:08 PM
Kavi
::shoutouts
If You Love Someone Put Their Name In A Circle Not A Heart, A Heart Can Break But A Circle Goes On Forever
Love Is When You Don't Want To Go To Sleep Because Reality Is Better Then A Dream
The First Time I Saw You I Knew It Was True. That I'd Love You Forever And That's What I'll Do. You Don't Know What You Do To Me, You Don't Have A Clue. You Don't Know What It's Like To Be Me Looking At You
Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile, and finds in your presence that life is worth while, so when you are lonely, remember this is true: Somebody, somewhere is thinking of you
To see you is what my eyes long for, to touch you is what my body longs for, but to love you, my heart has done already for a long time
Gotta let you know that I love you, gotta let you know that I care, gotta let you know that for you, I'll always be there